In one of those “I dare yourself to do it” challenges, The IP has actually decided (and even started) to create a Tiki out of the large log cocktail table outside his pad.  You probably recall some of the earlier pics of the al-fresco log table.

The IP hammer-chiseled off all the bark because bugs were starting to live in the margin between the bark and the pulp of the log; bugs do that.  Besides, removing the bark of the log is a first step in Tiki carving.  As you can see above, the bark came off fairly easily, separating from the wood in long segments.  So, then, how does one make a Tiki?   

Well, one could spend hours on the Intarwebs viewing “How To Make a Tiki” videos on YouTube or just dive right in with a hammer and chisel.  Well, actually, one could do a little of both as did The IP.  Either way, one should probably start with some basic vision of the Tiki design he wants.    

The number of Tiki god sculptures on which to base one’s own is overwhelming.  After a thorough Tiki tour on the Intrawebs, The IP decided to go with a simple-but-dramatic design based on a cheapo plastic Tiki cup he picked up at a thrift store…

…and a similar  restaurant Tiki (perhaps now extinct) he found on the those ever-helpful Externets:

The above Kahona Tiki was made of frickin’ concrete.  That’s kinda cool, in a “concrete Tiki” kinda way.  Maybe The IP’s Tiki can have a big opening in the mouth where he can place a lamp of some sort.  Would not that be cool?

The IP spent an hour or two beginning his Tiki with a hammer and chisel.  It went well, but SLOWLY.  It probably only seems slow because we’ve all been spoiled by technology and consumerism.  A lot more people buy Tikis than make them, after all.  The IP’s friend Ned in Portland -who is no stranger to all things Tiki- told him he might should try using a chainsaw…The IP thought the same thing (especially when a guy at work eagerly offered the use of his which is gathering dust in his garage), but a part of him thinks that the long, laborious method of using a hammer and chisel will somehow imbue him with some kind of primal Tiki knowledge.  We’ll see.  The Fates gave The IP a nice piece of a tree, so it would almost be wrong not to make something special of it.

This editorial brought to you by:

Lately, Obama has such a natural and strategic advantage over McCain that the media could start using the term “the presumptive President” when referring to him.  Expect the RW nutjobs to start blaming the media for promoting Obama’s admittedly photogenic trip to the Middle East.  It’s like Obama is beating Rove/Cheney at their own game.  Ha ha.  Our turn. 

But this time it’s a candidate FOR President, not an ACTUAL President.  This is what makes Obama’s whole trip a fairly bold move for a not-yet-President.  But from what The IP can tell, The “Big O” is pulling it off with aplomb.  And pictures like the below don’t hurt:

That is sooooooooooooooo much better in both context and content than W’s notorious “Mission Accomplished” landing.  Look at those cool, sea-foam-green retro-headsets and microphones!!  Look at Obama’s sunglasses…The dude steering the plane is that General Petraeus (moveon.org: Betray-us).  WTF!  It looks like a movie still.

Too bad McCain can’t be like he was when he actually tried to drive a jet like Obama:*

Therein is a huge problem.  People look at McCain and, without even realizing it, start thinking “Alzheimer’s.”  McCain can’t refer to his “once I was young “ past when Obama is there saying “Look at me!  I’m freakin’ young now!”  McCain photo-op wasted by temporal circumstance.

And when nobody knows WTF is gonna happen in Iraq anywaze, admitting that you don’t really “get” the Intarwebs, and that your daughter had to tell you what a blog was, and that you’ve done “a Google” is not gonna really garner the young vote; hell, that won’t garner the damn middle-aged vote.  The IP’s father who’s over a decade older than McCain at least can handle the Intarwebs fer Christ’s sake! 

Look at that pic of Obama up above.  Shit.  He looks like a Tuskeegee Airman.  Handsome, light-skinned black man wearing an aviator’s headset.  And like many of the Tuskeegee Airmen did in their day, Obama passes the “paper bag test” today.  Don’t think that is not important; essentially irrelevant, perhaps, but realistically important.

But today’s “paper bag test” is less about the color of the paper bag than it is its material composition.  So far, Obama’s seems made from flexible, iridescent fibers; it changes color, pattern, and shape with light and movement but somehow remains the same bag.  The material both looks and feels good.  McCain seems of the same pulp fibers you see in a classic “paper bag.”   Kinda stiff, wrinkly, etc…

Poor McCain.     

* The use of the terms “drive a jet” and “like Obama” were intentionally insouciant.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 THE NEW CRACK FROM FRITO LAY

The IP knew something was up when he mentioned them to a coworker and the latter quickly, almost maniacally responded “Those things are SO FUCKING GOOD!!…AND THEY’RE ADDICTIVE!”  So it wasn’t just The IP.

And then yesterday The IP busted some of them out to share with his audio guy who was over to school him on some new MP3 software.  Once he saw them glowing orangely in the bowl, audio guy immediately declared “Oh my fucking god!!  You have those things?  Those are the FUCKING best!!  Better not keep them around or I’ll eat them all.”

The IP’s suspicions were confirmed.  Not only do people (including The IP) use some variant of the word “fuck” when describing the product or their experience with it, they make overt allusions to addiction.  They’re the new Crack; and they’re completely legal:

God must be employed by Frito Lay; or maybe it’s the Devil.  Either or, these chips are too good.

Frito Lay has one of the more impressive stables of snack products out there, but they’ve outdone themselves with the Fiery Habenero

Hey, The IP knows that Frito Lay laid (pardon the pun) the foundation for what would become PEPSICO, one of the planet’s largest, oligarchic “food” corporations, but he has to admit quality when he tastes it.  And like he said, Fiery Habenero Doritos are less of a food than they are a highly addictive drug.  And it’s all because peppers, especially Habenero peppers, ARE ACTULLY ADDICTIVE!!

And as it is for selling any drug, you wanna get them hooked at a young age.

Frito Lay.  One of America’s most storied oligopolies.  Just think of the icons they continue to nurture: 

Turn on your speakers and listen to the Frito Bandito’s own song here.

That Cracker Jack kid has been around a long, long time.

And who could forget this guy?

 Yeah.  Chester is cool.  No need to tell him and boost his ego.

The IP supposes that they could never bring back the Frito Bandito; after all, he was a racist stereotype, and you can’t use those unless you’re intentionally being “ironic” like the New Yorker.  But he also caries a gun and lots o’ bullets, and he asks that you don’t “offend” him in his little song, sounding almost like he’s a member 3M, that’s the  Mexican Mariachi Mafia.

Maybe they can re-brand the Frito Bandito.  How about the Frito Mestizo?  That would be good; it would be multicultural.  He could sing a song like:

Ay ay ay ay,

I am the Frito Mestizo,

I asked permission,

and they gave me admission,

with one prohibition,

that I work with precision,

with a willing volition,

to make my chips for you

etc… 

Maybe that could be the basis for a McCain or Obama immigration platform.

Blog at ya later!!

If you haven’t heard about it already, you will soon.  It’s all about the cover on the latest New Yorker:

The IP thinks it’s pretty funny, in the tradition of excellent satire.  It is reminiscent of Hogarth  and Mad magazine.  And if some “spokespeople” from the Obama “camp” (god The IP is tired of hearing those words) hadn’t jumped the gun (not, in this case, the shark), BO might have defused the whole thing by saying something like:

“I thought is was really funny; very accurate in the way the

Extreme Right has tried, laughably and unsuccessfully, I might add,

to portray my wife and I as radicals.  It’s a commentary on

the desperation of  a rapidly diminishing cohort in our country.”

But that didn’t happen, and it’s likely Obama wouldn’t have taken that route anyway, but The IP wishes he had!  Now it’s another week of hot-button-topic journalism that doesn’t really examine anything important (ironically, the article in the New Yorker that goes along with that cover is what people should read).

OK.  In an almost uncanny coincidence, the effusive Dr. Kimbote, aka “Dr. K.,” has been contracted to provide an essay on some of the issues of this crazy Presidential campaign.  It is below.

But first, The IP wants to share a WTF! moment about a WTF? moment.  This past weekend The IP was watching the live Tour de France feed from Velo News and he read the following as it scrolled arcrost the screen:

04:27 PM: Lang

looks over his shoulder and has one of those “WTF?!?!?” moments.

He caught a glimpse of Ricco just flying up the climb. 28 seconds.

WTF!

Blog at ya later. 

CONSISTENCY, TRANSPARENCY, ELECTABILITY
REFLECTIONS ON THE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES

INTRODUCTION

A well known American once remarked “consistency is the bugbear of small
minds”. This casual witticism glosses over a real problem, particularly
important in elections, namely that significant departures from consistency
makes it impossible to vote in a rational way. By rational we mean choosing
that candidate who, if elected, is most likely to accomplish those things
we approve of. Generally, voters do not make up a weighted list of pros &
cons, but rely on what have been termed heuristics.[1] these are such
things as party affiliations, voting records, endorsements, TV news , &
even such things as likability. These approaches usually turn out to be
effective .

Considering the pertinacity of reporters & the resources available to them,
transparency is hard to avoid -i.e just about all significant (& many not
so) facts about a candidate will be made known to the public. The
candidates also write books themselves[3], which serve to enhance this
attribute. The trouble is that such revelations are spread over a long
period & forgotten (or not even read) by voters, many of whom make
decisions at the last moment [1].

Clearly, it is impossible to have a “custom made” candidate. To be elected,
a candidate must form coalitions from a reasonably broad segment of the
political spectrum ,so that most voters get some of their desiderata while
willing to tolerate other parts of an agenda.

Many Americans have well known & firmly held opinions, to which, at least
to some extent, a candidate must accommodate simply to garner enough votes. (these need not be expressed as promises, although later accusations of “waffling” will nevertheless arise.) These opinions are:

(a) Resentment of aid to the “undeserving”. Stories of “Welfare Queens”
driving Cadillacs tend to be widely believed, with no evidence needed.

(b) Extreme frugality in nonmilitary aid to foreigners. The U.S. is at the
bottom of the list in terms of percent of GNP devoted to this.(although
this is beginning to change)

(c) A rather short term tolerance for military solutions to assaults &
political encroachments. Initial enthusiasm is high, but the public wants
to see “mission accomplished” as a real fact. There is little enthusiasm
for imperial ventures , although quick & profitable actions, such as was the war with Mexico, arouse few objections.

(d) A willingness to tolerate government actions which, although directly
contrary to their economic interests, coincide with certain core values. Economic man is not always evident.

(e) A strong tendency to regard anything on “the left” , even watered down
Socialism, as Communist support, despite the fact that Communism is
moribund & not exportable to the U.S. (f) The existence of, & criticism from certain (very large) subsets of the population , such r as Christian Fundamentalists, anti-evolutionists, anti unionists, anti modern art & literature groups, & a variety of other pet peeves-basically anti government (no more regulations! Get off our backs! Enough already of taxes!) These attitudes have resulted in the condition of private opulence & public squalor pointed out by John K. Galbraith.

Some of these cranks can be ignored insofar as policy decisions are made,
but usually the candidate must give his opinion about them & sometimes
explain why yielding to these importunings would not be good for the nation.

The usual behavior of a candidate is to be rather non-compromising at the
beginning of the campaign, & gradually modify, supplement, point out
constraints, shift emphasis & introduce new considerations in the process
of coalition forming. This often produces disappointment in initial
supporters, but such actions are rarely repudiations of previous stands, &
one should not expect complete satisfaction from a candidate. When in
office, they seldom depart from their basic political orientation as
expressed initially.

II OBAMA

(a) Political orientation

Obama is clearly a liberal, & makes no attempt to deny this , even though
the “L word is used pejoratively nowadays. This is a legacy from his
mother[6], a truly remarkable woman.

(b) Race relations

Obama’s response to the Jeremiah Wright affair was contained in a speech at
the National Constitution Center Obama on March 8th.[7]. Obama did not
reject those in the black community that expressed a sympathy for Wright
(but not agreement!).Obama criticized Rev. Wright for seeing only injustice
done to the black community, while he (Obama) must be concerned with
injustice done to anyone.(a presidential approach). It should be noted that
anger at the establishment (with considerable justification) , often
expressed in Church, has long been a characteristic of the black community.
This is quite familiar to Obama from his experience as a community
organizer in Chicago .Another criticism of Rev. Wright was that of taking a
static view of this problem. Obviously there is still plenty of racism, but
there has also been much real progress. Obama said [8] “I have never been
so naive as to believe that we can move beyond our racial divisions in a
single candidacy election cycle, or with a single candidate.” Obama seems
to realize that most blacks are not interested in revolt, & are tired of
constantly thinking about race.

(c) Economics

Obama is definitely not a strong supporter of vigorous government action in
this realm, & does not directly court labor support, e.g. he favors merit
raises for teachers (the teachers union does not) , & promotes higher fuel
efficiency for auto engines (the UAW does not) He has proposed setting up a
$10 billion fund to assist home owners with foreclosure problems, promotes
more clarity in mortgage agreements, (no “fine print” traps), more vigorous
prosecution of mortgage fraud, & tax credits for middle income home buyers.

Obama’s economic adviser is not well known as a critic of “ free market
capitalism. Obama himself seems to be skeptical of Keynsian solutions,
rejects heavy-handed government regulations, & puts much emphasis on
complete disclosers. for consumers. Obama never says that people who make feckless decisions deserve their fate, but this seems implied in his
proposals.

(d) Pensions & savings

Obama suggests direct deposits accounts with “opt out” options (instead of
the customary “opt in” feature, & a federal tax credit of $500 for the
first $1000 accumulated. It should be noted here this will be of no help to
millions of workers who simply do not earn enough to pay any taxes at all.

(e) Health care

Obama avoids mandatory universal coverage, but has proposed federally
subsidized insurance which those lacking coverage may subscribe to .It
should be pointed out here that many young persons will not bother with any coverage at all under this arrangement, making the risk pool small &
expensive..

(e) Iraq war

After saying initially that he would have all our troops out within a year
7 a half, he now states hat the feasibility of that requires an on the spot
investigation. This is a very reasonable approach, (although it should have
been said sooner), particularly since the recent actions of Iran in
promoting anti-government groups in Iraq has intensified. Indeed, it is
quite possible that no significant withdrawal can be made for quite a long
time[9], a legacy of the administration blunder in starting this military
intervention in the first place. (mission not really accomplished)

III McCain

(a) Political orientation

Early in his political career McCain became a favorite with the media
because of his remarkable candor. (even with regard to the ’Keating Five”
affair, which got him a Congressional rebuke). He was regarded as a
“maverick” , a type always good for story material. McCain has become more
reticent recently, & has not had as much media coverage as Obama.. The
Reform Institute, which he founded, has become more of an influence
peddling operation recently. Far from being independent, many of the
Institutes staff were (or are) members of his campaign staff, & by
promoting his agenda enable him to circumvent the $5000 limit on PAC
contributions[10]. This rather leaves something to be desired in the way of
transparency. M Cain‘s divorce followed by marriage to a wealthy woman
enabled him to start his political career by moving to the congressional
district of John Rhodes of Arizona & running for Rhodes’ vacated
congressional seat. (his wife bought a house in that district).Nothing
wrong with this, butt it brought charges of “carpetbagging” McCain
responded that he had never lived long in any place, & that his longest
residence was in Hanoi. Hard to criticize a war hero! (even though the
statement is not strictly true) As one reporter remarked, sometimes the
narrative is more powerful than the fact. . One journalist [11] has
asserted that McCain is infamous throughout Arizona as “someone who
strenuously avoid mixing with the little people”. evidently the hero
charisma is wearing a bit thin..

(b) Consistency

While not exactly a flip-flop, McCain has moved away from the “maverick “
image twoard the conservative Republican mainstream, e.g.

(1) failure to support legislation to limit the political expenditures of
so-called “527 groups”, that can now spend large amounts of money to
discredit opposition candidates.

(2) support of (& even proposing extensions !) of the Bush tax cuts (he
originally opposed them)

(3) Support of more Mexican border fencing.(abandoning previous suggestions of paths to citizenship for undocumented aliens)

(4) abandoning previous opposition to repeal of Roe vs Wade.

(5) Support of the Military Commission Act. (he originally opposed this
act)

(c) The Iraq war

McCain thinks we should “stay the course” until victory in Iraq (no
consideration of how much “victory” we can get), but vows to get out most
of the troops by 2013. Although he has tried to distance himself from Bush,
(recognizing that bush is no longer popular) , his views are not all that
distant; McCain is still an advocate of military solutions, like the
president.

(d) Health care.

McCain’s proposals re health care rely entirely on tax credits; as
previously pointed out, this would be of no benefit to a very large segment
of the population . As has often been stated, American health care is 50%
more expensive than the systems used in Europe & Canada, & the average
state of health is lower. This may be due to the poor nutritional habits of
so many Americans, (e.g. obesity is prevalent. in a large segment of the
population). Also, many fail to get sufficient exercise. By the time
doctors are consulted, a great deal of damage has already been done. Health
is largely a matter of personal responsibility, & no health care scheme
can be very effective under these circumstances.

IV Conclusion

Despite these shifts & modifications from previous positions, there is a
clear distinction between the candidates. Obama is sufficiently” liberal”
to attract those of such leanings, & McCain appears more & more like a very
conservative but still “main line” Republican , which, despite the
disappointment with Bush, many voters want ..Ultimately the outcome will
depend on how fed up the voters are with the Iraq mess (we can expect the
democrats to stress this theme), & with the President for getting us into
it. Whichever candidate wins, he will have to come to grips with high
energy prices as well as the ongoing recession resulting from that. .
Neither has offered a real innovative program to cope with the CO2 problem
(probably because the costs would scare off the voters who seem to believe
that low energy prices are an American right).-neither ethanol nor natural
gas will help here .Neither has offered any plan to fix the very
disappointing results from the current workfare scheme[12]. All the recent
polls show a very close race-it should be very interesting. If you want
things to happen get out & vote!,

. V Epilogue

The recent Harpers magazine[13] makes the following calculation:

Percentage change in the after-tax income of the top 0.1% income earners

(1) from Obama’s proposals……..5% reduction

(2) from McCain’s…………………..12 % increase

Consistent, yes?

Dr. K.

[1] Bower, Bruce…“Simpleminded Voters” Science News, July 5, 2008

[2] Ibid

[4] Drew, Elizabeth……..’Molehill Politics”, New York Review of Books,
(NYRB),

17-Apr-08

[5] Cassidy, John……….”Economics: Which Way For Obama”, NYRB, june 12,
2008

[6] Pinckney, Darryl……”Dreams From Obama”, NYRB, March 6, 2006

[7] wwwbaackobama.com/2008/03/18/

[8] Wills, Gary …………”Two Speeches On Race”, NYRB, May 1, 2008

[9] Powers, Thomas……”Iran: The Threat”, NYRB, July 17, 2008

[10] Silverstein, Ken…..”My Lobby, Myself, Harpers, May, 2008

[11] Welch, Matt…………” McCainL: The Myth of a Maverick”,
Palgrave-McMillan

[12] McMillan, Tracie ..”Looks Good on Paper”, Harpers, August, 2008

Soon after The IP moved into his new apartment, he took an inventory of what he had to work with in terms of landscape and flora.  A lowly stick of a rose “bush” immediately caught his eye.  WTF?  It was clearly dormant, almost dead, to be honest.  The IP figured he’d aggressively prune it back, just to give it a jolt, and see what would happen. 

Well, about a whole week went by, and it just stood there, a decapitated victim of hasty and excessive pruning.  The IP felt like shit.

Then The IP started thinking of the reasons why it was not HIS fault the rose bush died; all of which had merit: It did not get enough light; It was located on a steep slope that limited natural absorption of water; it was doomed anyway, etc.

In a last-ditch effort, The IP made sure to water the rose bush while he watered his bowling ball “garden.” 

Then one day, he can’t remember exactly when, The IP saw some signs of life on the bush.  WTF?  Little nubby growths were protruding from just below each place where The IP cut the plant.  Within a day or two, it was clear that the rose bush was going into production.

Now, it should be said that The IP has never been enamored of roses.  He saw them as “tacky” and “low-brow,” part of some commercial conspiracy much like that of the diamond industry; though the rose garden in Brookline was nice…they at least weren’t sheathed a-dozen-at-a-time in a cellophane wrapper with a bar-code sticker.

Where was The IP?  Oh yeah.  The rose bush.  Sure enough, it looked like the bush was gonna produce actual roses.  These tiny, tiny little buds appeared, but they hardly looked capable of producing anything more than a token effort at actual rosedom.

Boy.  Was The IP wrong:

The First Three Roses of The IP’s Bush, With R1 Coming Into Its Own

This is R1.  Ain’t she a beauty?

This is R1 after cutting, resting in a glass of water on The IP’s back landing.

The IP was really surprised after R1 proved to be one of the most beautiful roses he had ever seen.  Would R2 and R3 be just as great?

Here’s R2 and R3 after The IP brought them inside…amazing!

R4 has just budded.

OK.  On to the fornicating moths.

The IP was relaxing with a beer on his front stoop this past Saturday when he espied a big, colorful moth landing on a leaf of a plant and take a motionless position on the underside of the latter.  It just sat there.  About two hours later, The IP again looked at the leaf and, sure enough, the moth was still there.  WTF?  The IP again took a seat and just kinda kept an eye on it as he read a book.  Then The IP saw a much smaller moth of the same color start flying around the gerneral area and it soon dawned on him what this was all about:

moth fornication.  Almost like a TV documentary, the smaller moth kept making increasingly smaller circles around the big moth until it zoned right onto the same leaf and “hooked up” right in front of The IP:

Here’s the little guy moth getting ready to do “the nasty.”

Fornicating moths.  The flash kinda distorted their color, but not a whole lot.  It was really dark down in the foliage.  Amazing how much smaller is the male of the species.  Yeah, you know The IP looked up what kinda moths they were.  They are Spiny Oakworm Moths.

And over the same period as the roses and moths, The IP snapped a few shots of the sky as the hit & miss thunderstorms have been producing nice effects:

Blog at ya later!!!