Shark Valley, in the Everglades, is unique.  Nowhere else will you find such an inspiring juxtaposition of pure engineering art and sublime nature. 

The IP rarely uses the word “surreal,” because it insinuates the idea that there could be something that was not “real,” WTF?  Yet, there are rare occasions when the word seems apropos. For The IP, each time he has visited Shark Valley has been such an occasion:

By now some of you pithecanthropes have probably seen the above one-and-only image of our now Nationally famous “Atlanta Tornado.”  The IP thinks it is Pulitzer Prize material, if just for its serendipitous nature.  The urban-loft-dwelling photographer was taking pictures of lightning when his fiancé told him about the Tornado Warning and soon he had his once-in-a-lifetime chance.  The Tornado is embedded in the darkest cloud mass in the far left of the image.

The IP is way-happy for Shane Durrance, the dude who snapped the shot, because when compared with his work-a-day photography, it has a spontaneous quality his other stuff lacks.

Most professional photographers end up doing the stuff like above, and while The IP absolutely HATES such “stock” photography, what with all it’s generically  handsome models and ludicrously staged motifs, he will cut Shane a break.  Hey, he was the right guy in the right place at the right time.     

The IP will happily refer you to my friend’s blog for some Tornado damage shots he took on a recent stroll.   

And more here.

The IP even picked up an ACTUAL SHARD OF WINDOW GLASS from one of his favorite Atlanta buildings:

OK.  That’s all for now.  The IP promises he will bring you back to the present and historic Everglades on his next post, where you will see some cool vintage images like this:

HAPPY EASTER!!  Whatever it means for you!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

SPECIAL “WTF” PICTURE OF THE WEEK

On CSPAN tonight.  The IP was aghast.

It was like watching some kind of tribute to a fascist dictator.  All these grouchy white seniors salivating over Reagan with this huge picture of him in the background.  One guy said Reagan was an “intellectual” because he had a subscription to the National Review.

That’s what The IP loves about CSPAN.  Crazy Left and crazy Right and everything in between (the latter is the good stuff).

Enjoy the below:

“I never knew anything above Cs.”
–President Reagan, in a moment of truthfulness, describes his academic record to Barbara Walters, November 27, 1981

“They told stories about how inattentive and inept the President was….  They said he wouldn’t come to work–all he wanted to do was to watch movies and television at the residence.”
–Jim Cannon (an aide to Howard Baker) reporting what Reagan’s underlings told him, Landslide: The Unmaking of the President: 1984-88

“Reagan’s only contribution [to the subject of the MX missile] throughout the entire hour and a half was to interrupt somewhere at midpoint to tell us he’d watched a movie the night before, and he gave us the plot from WarGames, the movie.  That was his only contribution.”
–Lee Hamilton (Representative from Indiana) interviewed by Haynes Johnson, Sleepwalking Through History:  America in the Reagan Years

“This President is treated by both the press and foreign leaders as if he were a child….  It is major news when he honors a political or economic discussion with a germane remark and not an anecdote about his Hollywood days.”
–Columnist Richard Cohen

“What planet is he living on?”
–President Mitterand of France poses this question about Reagan to Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau.

“During Mr. Reagan’s trip to Europe…members of the traveling press corps watched him doze off so many times–during speeches by French President Francois Mitterrand and Italian President Alessandro Pertini, as well as during a one-on-one audience with the Pope–that they privately christened the trip ‘The Big Sleep.’”
–Mark Hertsgaard, On Bended Knee: The Press and the Reagan Presidency

“He demonstrated for all to see how far you can go in this life with a smile, a shoeshine and the nerve to put your own spin on the facts.”
–David Nyhan, Boston Globe columnist

“an amiable dunce”
–Clark Clifford (former Defense Secretary)

“Poor dear, there’s nothing between his ears.”

–British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher

“…like reinventing the wheel.”

–Larry Speakes (Reagan’s former press secretary) describing what it was like preparing the President for a press conference, Speaking Out: The Reagan Presidency from Inside the White House

“The task of watering the arid desert between Reagan’s ears is a challenging one for his aides.”

–Columnist David Broder

“He has the ability to make statements that are so far outside the parameters of logic that they leave you speechless”
–Patti Davis (formerly Patricia Ann Reagan) talking about her father, The Way I See It

“This loathing for government, this eagerness to prove that any program to aid the disadvantaged is nothing but a boondoggle and a money gobbler, leads him to contrive statistics and stories with unmatched vigor.”
–Mark Green, Reagan’s Reign of Error

“President Reagan doesn’t always check the facts before he makes statements, and the press accepts this as kind of amusing.”
–former president Jimmy Carter, March 6, 1984

“Ronald Reagan is the first modern President whose contempt for the facts is treated as a charming idiosyncrasy.”
–James David Barber, presidential scholar, On Bended Knee: The Press and the Reagan Presidency, Mark Hertsgaard

“His errors glide past unchallenged.  At one point…he alleged that almost half the population gets a free meal from the government each day.  No one told him he was crazy.  The general message of the American press is that, yes, while it is perfectly true that the emperor has no clothes, nudity is actually very acceptable this year.”
–Simon Hoggart, in The Observer (London), 1986

Uncommon Wisdom from “The Gipper”

“A tree’s a tree.  How many more do you need to look at?”
–Ronald Reagan (Governor of California), quoted in the Sacramento Bee, opposing expansion of Redwood National Park, March 3, 1966

“I don’t believe a tree is a tree and if you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all.“
–Governor Ronald Reagan, in the Sacramento Bee, September 14, 1966

“All the waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk.”
–Ronald Reagan (Republican candidate for president), quoted in the Burlington (Vermont) Free Press, February 15, 1980.  (In reality, the average nuclear reactor generates 30 tons of radioactive waste per year.)

“I have flown twice over Mount St. Helens.  I’m not a scientist and I don’t know the figures, but I have a suspicion that one little mountain out there, in these last several months, has probably released more sulfur dioxide into the atmosphere than has been released in the last ten years of automobile driving or things of that kind.”
–Ronald Reagan, quoted in Time magazine, October 20, 1980.  (According to scientists, Mount St. Helens emitted about 2,000 tons of sulfur dioxide per day at its peak activity, compared with 81,000 tons per day produced by cars.)

“Growing and decaying vegetation in this land are responsible for 93 percent of the oxides of nitrogen.”
–Ronald Reagan, quoted in the Los Angeles Times, October 9, 1980.  (According to Dr. Michael Oppenheimer of the Environmental Defense Fund, industrial sources are responsible for at least 65 percent and possibly as much as 90 percent of the oxides of nitrogen in the U.S.)

“Approximately 80 percent of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation.  So let’s not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emission standards for man-made sources.”
–Ronald Reagan, quoted in Sierra, September 10, 1980

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  The U.S. Geological Survey has told me that the proven potential for oil in Alaska alone is greater than the proven reserves in Saudi Arabia.”
–Ronald Reagan, quoted in the Detroit Free Press, March 23, 1980.  (According to the USGS, the Saudi reserves of 165.5 billion barrels are 17 times the proven reserves–9.2 billion barrels–in Alaska.)

“Why should we subsidize intellectual curiosity?”
–Ronald Reagan, campaign speech, 1980

“Trains are not any more energy efficient than the average automobile, with both getting about 48 passenger miles to the gallon.”
–Ronald Reagan, quoted in the Chicago Tribune, May 10, 1980.  (The U.S. Department of Transportation calculates that a 14-car train traveling at 80 miles per hour gets 400 passenger miles to the gallon.  A 1980 auto carrying an average of 2.2 people gets 42.6 passenger miles to the gallon.)

“It’s silly talking about how many years we will have to spend in the jungles of Vietnam when we could pave the whole country and put parking stripes on it and still be home by Christmas.”
–Ronald Reagan (candidate for Governor of California), interviewed in the Fresno Bee, October 10, 1965

“I have a feeling that we are doing better in the war [in Vietnam] than the people have been told.”
–Ronald Reagan, in the Los Angeles Times, October 16, 1967

“…the moral equal of our Founding Fathers.”
–President Reagan, describing the Nicaraguan contras, March 1, 1985

“Fascism was really the basis for the New Deal.”
–Ronald Reagan, quoted in Time, May 17, 1976

“I know all the bad things that happened in that war.  I was in uniform four years myself.”
–President Reagan, in an interview with foreign journalists, April 19, 1985.  (“In costume” is more like it.  Reagan spent World War II making Army training films at Hal Roach Studios in Hollywood.)

“They’ve done away with those committees.  That shows the success of what the Soviets were able to do in this country.”
–Ronald Reagan, quoted in the Washington Times, September 30, 1987.  (Reagan longs for the days of Sen. Joseph McCarthy and the HCUA witch hunts.)

“We think there is a parallel between federal involvement in education and the decline in profit over recent years.”
–President Reagan, quoted in USA Today, April 26, 1983

“What we have found in this country, and maybe we’re more aware of it now, is one problem that we’ve had, even in the best of times, and that is the people who are sleeping on the grates, the homeless who are homeless, you might say, by choice.”
–President Reagan, defending himself against charges of callousness on Good Morning America, January 31, 1984

“I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at the point of a bayonet,  if necessary.”
–Ronald Reagan, Los Angeles Times, October 20, 1965

“I would have voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964.”
–Ronald Reagan, Los Angeles Times, June 17, 1966

“If there has to be a bloodbath then let’s get it over with.”
–Ronald Reagan (Governor of California), quoted in the San Francisco Chronicle, May 15, 1969.  (Reagan reveals how he intends to deal with student protesters at the University of California, Berkeley.)

“Today a newcomer to the state is automatically eligible for our many aid programs the moment he crosses the border.”
–Ronald Reagan, in a speech announcing his candidacy for Governor, January 3, 1966.  (In fact, immigrants to California had to wait five years before becoming eligible for benefits.  Reagan acknowledged his error, but nine months later said exactly the same thing.)

“…a faceless mass, waiting for handouts.”
–Ronald Reagan, 1965.  (Description of Medicaid recipients.)

“Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders.”
–California Governor Ronald Reagan, in the Sacramento Bee, April 28, 1966

“We were told four years ago that 17 million people went to bed hungry every night.  Well, that was probably true.  They were all on a diet.”
–Ronald Reagan, TV speech, October 27, 1964

“But I also happen to be someone who believes in tithing–the giving of a tenth [to charity].”
–Ronald Reagan, from The Weekly Compilation of Presidential Documents, February 8, 1982.  (He may believe in tithing, but he doesn’t practice it.  Reagan’s total charitable giving of $5,965 did not approach 10% of total income.  It was more like 1.4%.)

“[Not] until now has there ever been a time in which so many of the prophecies are coming together.  There have been times in the past when people thought the end of the world was coming, and so forth, but never anything like this.”
–President Reagan revealing a disturbing view about the “coming of Armageddon,” December 6, 1983

“History shows that when the taxes of a nation approach about 20 percent of the people’s income, there begins to be a lack of respect for government….  When it reaches 25 percent, there comes an increase in lawlessness.”
–Ronald Reagan, in Time, April 14, 1980.  (History shows no such thing.  Income tax rates in Europe have traditionally been far higher than U.S. rates, while European crime rates have been much lower.)

“Because Vietnam was not a declared war, the veterans are not even eligible for the G. I. Bill of Rights with respect to education or anything.”
–Ronald Reagan, in Newsweek, April 21, 1980.  (Wrong again.)

“Politics is just like show business.  You have a hell of an opening, coast for a while, and then have a hell of a close.“
–Ronald Reagan to aide Stuart Spencer, 1966

The IP just flew in from Miami and boy, are his arms tired!

Seriously, pithecanthropes, The IP just spent three days and four nights in South Florida, mostly in Everglades National Park.  Two of the places he had to check out were called  Flamingo and Shark Valley.  He’s got a lot to show and tell, but he’ll start with some SO-FLA critters for this first post:

The next post will feature some crazy shit fer sher, including weird architecture, some more critters, and vintage 70s tourism images.  Stay tuned…

The IP has to make a dramatic declaration.  The IP knows who blew up that military recruiting office in Times Square.

IT WAS HIS OWN KIN, KENNETH BUTTERCUP!!!

If you don’t believe The IP, take a look at the below surveillance photo:

Tell The IP that isn’t KENNETH BUTTERCUP!!!  The IP could recognize KENNETH BUTTERCUP anywhere!!!

Buttercup even went so far as to use a lame ROSS bicycle to carry out his bombing.  What a knucklehead!!!

Gotta give the guy some credit for choosing a bike he wouldn’t ride himself.  A kickstand??  WTF?  Hey!  Nice bottom bracket, Buttercup!  Ha ha ha. 

Sorry, KENNETH BUTTERCUP, but  The IP had to do the right thing; your hours are numbered.  Expect the police any time now…

Each Sunday The IP experiences a full, all-you-can-eat brunch of “WTF?” in his reading of the NYT.  Most of the time it’s simply the stories, “the news,” if you will, that induce all of The IP’s incredulity.  But lately it’s something else that has been grating on The IP’s poor mind; it’s all these slick advertisements for huge, multi-million-dollar, New York City-address mega homes.  One can’t turn the first five or six pages of the NYT Sunday Magazine without running into them.  This emergent trend in high-end real estate is immediately recognized by the inclusion of full floor plans in the advertising for the same. 

The above floor plan is a monster; well-over 8,000 sq ft.  7 Bedrooms and 7.5 bathrooms.  They even included a little room (the smallest on the floor) labled “staff.”  That used to be called the “servant’s quarters” in ye olde times.  It’s only 35 million.  Yep.  It’s true.

The IP kinda hit you with the top flight residence, so here are a few more “affordable” NYC residences:

You can tell by the guitar-playing baby boomer dude that this pad ain’t no 35 mil.  It’s only a lame 2-million.  The text on the add above this guy’s vintage guitar collection adds

MAKE HISTORY.  MODERN

            FUN.  FLIRTY.  FRESH.  IN Fi Di.

Pretty “edgy” shit, huh?  “Fi Di” is not like “Wi Fi” or even “Hi Fi.”  It stands for the Financial District.  WTF?  Expensive, full-floor condos in the Financial District?  Why would that be?

Two-syllable place names are hot.  When The IP was last in Miami, he stayed in So-Fi.  That means “south of Fifth St.”  It used to be part of the “Art Deco” district, But it sounds better as “So-Fi.”  It sounds more “cool,” more “hip,” like that dude with the guitar in the 2-mil. Condo located in Fi-Di.

And check out what they call in small letters on the margin of the page “ACTUAL VIEW.”

Even in The IP’s most spectacular Kodachrome slides he’s never seen trees and grass that looked THAT super-color saturated.  Is that the “actual view” as seen by the Hedge Fund-managing guitar dude when he’s high on acid?  Or absinthe?  WTF?

Then above the name of the residential joint, “Sheffield,” they print:

MY CENTRAL PARK

MY ROOFTOP POOL

MY GRACIOUS DRIVE ENTRY

The “ME” generation never went away, it just got worse.  Hey, The IP has no problem with guitars or people who play them, or even collect them, but he thinks that guitar dude model guy is there to make the real stiff, greedy hedge- fund guys feel better about themselves.  If the IP saw that guitar guy in Central Park he would say “Oh, sorry sir, I forgot that this was ‘your’ Central Park,” and then he would feign punching him in the face and walk away slowly.

Maybe not.

This place above has condos from $1.5 to over $7 million.  The above ranch house in the sky is only $4 mil.

Whatever happened to “affordable” urban housing?  What would Jacob Riis think of New York today?

Part II later this week will feature even more amazing real estate opportunities.