There is no better place to just clear your head and get some perspective about “it all” than on an ocean beach.  Indulge The IP by taking a look at these pre-Thanksgiving pics of his latest trip to Florida:

The IP gives thanks for the material world and all of his fellow pithecanthropes who have enjoyed and participated in this blog…aw shucks…you guys are the best!!! 

Hey you pithecanthropes!  The IP just flew in from Florida, and boy, are his arms tired!

Seriously, The IP really did come back from FL, and he wants to share some of his List of Classified Structures (LCS) photos with you. 

OK.  Here’s the deal.  The IP purchased a new digital camera for his work, and the following pics were produced during the first time he used it in his job.  He took dozens and dozens of pics, most of them of historic structures, but he also took some pics in a more “artistic” vein.  This post is the first of several that will highlight his recent trip to Fort Matanzas (FOMA) and Castillo de San Marcos (CASA) near and in St. Augustine, FL. 

The Visitor Center/Headquarters building at FOMO was built by the (Works Progress Administration (WPA) in 1937:

Besides being a well-preserved example of WPA architecture, the VC/HQ’s walls of  coquina stone are the same as those used by the Spanish for the nearby Fort Matanzas.

The above wall is from the FOMA VC/HQ. 

Coquina is a fantastic building material, but since it is made mostly of shells and organic lime, working with it presents some challenges. 

Check out the above “utility” building…its walls are also made of coquina . 

Fort Matanzas is a queer little Spanish fort reached by a 5-minute boat ride to its location on Rattlesnake Island. 

Many a bloat-ass tourist takes the 5-minute boat ride to the fort and takes in a little “history” from an NPS Interpretive Ranger.  The IP has found NPS historic interpretation to be adequate to the task.  Most of the dudes who dress in the Spanish military garb are pretty good at what they do.  They are also proud in their roles as civil servants.  

Above is the Superintendent of both FOMA CASA.  He is also proud of his role and his parks.  The latter are both  islands (litterally for FOMA) in the Floridian shitscape that surrounds them.  The IP loves the natural flora, fauna, and landscape that is Florida, but strip malls and pop-up irrigation systems that spray most of the water on the sidewalk and street test the paitience of any geography major. 

The Matanzas River flows into the Atlantic on the Florida coast. 

The use of Portland Cement by earlier “preservationists” really F’d things up for the fort and its coquina…but they are fixing it.  More on that in a later post.

The Live Oaks at the FOMA Visitor Center are sublime with their languid posture in the landscape. 

And that is why folks like to picnic there…

Next…

The IP will feature his pics of Castillo de San Marcos.  He will also show off some of the Nikon D-80’s capabilities.  Here’s a teaser pic:  Teaser Pic

Stay tuned.

The IP finally got a chance to check out a local mega antique mall this past weekend.  One of the two stores was ridiculous, with every item in a lighted, locked, and mirrored glass case.  The staff at this place were constantly hovering over the customers, and there was some creepy old dude in a back room with a big Plexiglas window on the wall.  Then The IP started noticing the price of the “antiques” they had for sale.  There is a reason The IP shuns actual “antique” stores.

But the other store provided a positive contrast.  It was a cavernous, high-ceiling building with many, many booths of the most eclectic stuff The IP’s ever seen.  Art, mannequins, old farm tools, radios, furniture, electrics…there was even a booth that had actual slave ship shackles!  Creepy!  But at the same time, this place was like a museum.  The IP really got sucked in…spent a good hour and a-half just lookin.  Then he decided to pay his admission by pickin up a few items.

Lately, The IP is sticking to small items in his collecting because he has no more room for giant 1950s TVs or phonograph consoles.  This place had just what he didn’t know he was looking for:

The above illustrations are from the front and back cover of a pretty cool Georgia Power Company party manual.  Shameless promotion of the Power Company and the products that help make it make money.  Amazing colors and evocation of the American domestic ideal.  The IP loves that creepy feeling he gets from such perfect suburban scenes.

And now for something completely different:

The IP ran into some of the covers of Practical Electrics when he was researching on the Intarwebs for his Hi-Fi paper.  When he saw a copy of the magazine (1924) for sale just a couple of bucks, it was an easy purchase.  Just look at that illustration.  It has a great, loose feel to the artwork and clearly has a sense of humor.  It almost has that R. Crumb-like way of expressing the characters.

The new sidebar illustrations you may have noticed came from another magazine The IP found at that store:

They’re from a 1951 issue of Outdoor Life, the 1951 Preview “Boats and Motors” issue!!!  All the big outboard players are here, including Evinrude, Johnson, Martin, Chris Craft, Champion, Wizard, and more!  Great graphics and illustrations.

Finally, The IP was walking by a table with these nice posters and he was taken aback by the one on the very top.  They were 1920s and 1930s Chinese advertising calendar posters from Shanghai. 

He bought one:

 
The colors are so subtle and the scene is so rooted in traditional Chinese landscape painting.  The Chinese characters on the top and bottom don’t hurt either.  It’s like Chinese Cheesecake with a touch of artistic authenticity.
The IP will be on travel again, so this will be the last post until Saturday. 

Don’t forget about our Georgia Governor’s big “Pray For Rain” rally at the Capital…you think The IP is kidding? 

Two friends of The IP are the unfortunate recipients of a particularly annoying genre of chain e-mail.  Through their e-mail correspondence with either coworkers or friends of family, they have found themselves on the bulk mailing lists of  Ameri-Christian wingnuts whose mission is to spread “the word,” regardless of whether the recipients want to hear it or not.  Such self-righteous Christian arrogance is clogging e-mail inboxes all over the world, including those of my friends.

But pain shared is pain relieved, and my friends share their pain by forwarding to The IP the most absurd and ludicrous Christian chain e-mails they receive.  And in our commiseration, we convert the pain to humor and ridicule as we poke holes in the simplistic and childlike “reasoning” of these stupid e-mails.

Below is one of the latest of these Christian chain e-mails, and a response The IP wrote for his friend who, in a state of anger and frustration from having received it, was unable to come up with the words.  And since it deals with a National Park Service site, The IP was only happy to draft a retort. 

Keep in mind that The IP was not trying to be “scholarly” in his rebuttal; in fact, he just wrote it off the top of his head.  Refer to the Snopes.com link and the NPS link for more info on the Washington Monument.

Laus Deo

One detail that is never mentioned is that in Washington, D.C. there can never be a building of greater height than the Washington Monument.

With all the uproar about removing the ten commandments, etc., this is worth a moment or two of your time. I was not aware of this amazing historical information.

On the aluminum cap, atop the Washington Monument in Washington, D.C., are displayed two words: Laus Deo.

No one can see these words. In fact, most visitors to the monument are totally unaware they are even there and for that matter, probably couldn’t care less.

Once you know Laus Deo’s history, you will want to share this with everyone you know. These words have been there for many years; they are 555 feet, 5.125 inches high, perched atop the monument, facing skyward to the Father of our
nation, overlooking the 69 square miles which comprise the District of Columbia, capital of the United States of America.

Laus Deo! Two seemingly insignificant, unnoticed words. Out of sight and, one might think, out of mind, but very meaningfully placed at the highest point over what is the most powerful city in the most successful nation in the world.

So, what do those two words, in Latin, composed of just four syllables and only seven letters, possibly mean? Very simply, they say “Praise be to God!”

Though construction of this giant obelisk began in 1848, when James Polk was President of the United States, it was not until 1888 that the monument was inaugurated and opened to the public. It took twenty-five years to finally cap the memorial with a tribute to the Father of our nation, Laus Deo.

“Praise be to God!”

From atop this magnificent granite and marble structure, visitors may take in the beautiful panoramic view of the city with its division into four major segments.

From that vantage point, one can also easily see the original plan of the designer, Pierre Charles l’Enfant ..a perfect cross imposed upon the landscape, with the White House to the north. The Jefferson Memorial is to the south, the Capitol to the east and the Lincoln Memorial to the west.

A cross you ask? Why a cross? What about separation of church and state?  Yes, a cross; separation of church and state was not, is not, in the Constitution. So, read on. How interesting and, no doubt, intended to carry a profound meaning for those who bother to notice.

Praise be to God!

Within the monument itself are 898 steps and 50 landings. As one climbs the steps and pauses at the landings the memorial stones share a message On the 12th Landing is a prayer offered by the City of Baltimore; on the 20th is a memorial presented by some Chinese Christians; on the 24th a presentation made by Sunday School children from New York and Philadelphia quoting Proverbs 10:7, Luke 18:16 and Proverbs 22:6.

Praise be to God!

When the cornerstone of the Washington Monument was laid on July 4th, 1848 deposited within it were many items including the Holy Bible presented by the Bible Society.

Praise be to God!

Such was the discipline, the moral direction, and the spiritual mood given by the founder and first President of our unique democracy “One Nation, Under God.”

I am awed by Washington’s prayer for America. Have you ever read it? Well, now is your unique opportunity, so read on!

“Almighty God; We make our earnest prayer that Thou wilt keep the United States in Thy holy protection; that Thou wilt incline the hearts of the citizens to cultivate a spirit of subordination and obedience to government; and entertain a brotherly affection and love for one another and for their fellow citizens of the United States at large. And finally that Thou wilt most graciously be pleased to dispose us all to do justice, to love mercy, and to demean ourselves with that charity, humility, and pacific temper of mind which were the characteristics of the Divine Author of our blessed religion, and without a humble imitation of whose example in these things we can never hope to be a happy nation. Grant our supplication, we beseech Thee, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”

Laus Deo!

When one stops to observe the inscriptions found in public places all over our nation’s capitol, he or she will easily find the signature of God, as it is unmistakably inscribed everywhere you look.

You may forget the width and height of “Laus Deo”, its location, or the architects but no one who reads this will be able to forget its meaning, or these words: “Unless the Lord builds the house its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches overthe city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.” (Psalm 127: 1)

It is hoped you will send this to every child you know; to every sister, brother, father, mother or friend. They will not find offense, because you have given them a lesson in history that they probably never learned in school. With that, be not ashamed, or afraid, but have pity on those who will never see this because someone failed to send it on.

The IP’s Response 

In his attempt to squeeze as much Christianity out of the Washington Monument and other landscape features of our Capital, the writer is hoisted by his own petard of ignorance and simplistic thinking; not to mention outright historical error. This is what happens when historical analysis is attempted by Christian ideologues rather than trained scholars. Not surprisingly in this case, the result is less “history” than self-righteous propaganda.

The fact that such “amazing historical information” comes in the form of a chain e-mail, one already addressed in great detail at Snopes.com  makes its sorry pedigree self-evident. Nonetheless, this author will make a few general comments, though the chain e-mail in question hardly deserves the honor of any more scrutiny.

While it is true that the phrase “Laus Deo” is engraved on one face of the aluminum pyramid atop the Washington Monument, this token religious reference pales in relation to the HUGE OBELISK that is below it. If anything, the Washington Monument owes more to the worship of the Egyptian Sun God (Ra) than to any Christian god. Would the writer or sender of this spam prefer that the little school children be taught about sun worship? Doing so would certainly make more sense than trying to see the Monument as an expression of Christianity.  Another thing the children might be told is since large obelisks and memorial columns were universally designed by, and honored, men, they have obvious phallic connotations.

To suggest that the intersection of two streets represent a Christian “cross” in an overall plan that is actually radial in design not only dishonors the vision of Pierre Charles l’Enfant (which had NOTHING to do with Christianity, BTW), it is ludicrous in its “not seeing the forest for the trees” simple-mindedness.  One must assume that Chicago must be the most Christian city in the country, what with all its “crosses” on the landscape. Besides, why would some bible-thumping, Christian revivalist invoke a French designer to make an argument about the biblical nature of the DC landscape? Aren’t the French mostly dreaded secularists and atheists? Enfant himself was a notorious homosexual who died in poverty; hardly an American role model. The author is either purposefully uniformed or simply stupid.

Finally, the conflation of mundane and man-made inscriptions with “the signature of God” is an egregious violation of historical method.  By their very nature and through evidence in the historical record, inscriptions of any kind are made by men, not by some “God.” They were, are, and will always be made by men. To suggest otherwise is to inflict ideas of the supernatural upon the vulnerable children of our Nation.

If, as suggested, one was to forward this spam “to every child you know; to every sister, brother, father, mother or friend” as “a lesson in history,” the lesson should be based upon how Christian zealots cherry-pick bits and pieces of the past and then use them to construct an entirely a-historical account of our Nation in order to proselytize to the uninformed and gullible people that think a spam e-mail is a legitimate example of historical analysis.

Is The IP just as arrogant as the righteous Christian?  Perhaps.  But there are even more historical anomolies in that spam than The IP mentioned.  Again, refer to the Snopes site for more info on this particular spam mail. 

And here’s a funny thing.  The IP had read about Enfant a long time ago, and his declaration above that he was a homosexual was just a gut feeling.  Then when the IP did  some more googling before this post, he came up with this interesting essay:

Seriously, give it a read.

Washington Monument

It looks like The IP’s E-mail to the Government Service Administration (GSA) resulted in…What do you think?  An immediate repair to the sidewalk?  Now that would just not make sense; but what they did does:

Just some more barricades for now.  While The IP supposes that any response is better than none, he still wonders how hard would it be just to fix the damn sidewalk?  In fact, a collegue of The IP who knows a thing or two about brickwork said he would do it.  But that would probably be against GSA regulations.

If anything happens on The WATCH, The IP will be sure to let you know.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  

The IP is NOT happy to post another CONEWATCH update.  But he does so to finally make the point that started CONEWATCH in the first place.  He just knew in his gut that, after tearing up the brick pavers and shoddily putting them back together, after removing a good portion of the media in which the bricks rested and putting it in a pile near a lamp post, and after putting up various cones and barricades to ostensibly “warn” people of a “work in progress hazard,” what they were doing all along was…NOTHING!  It’s clear that there never was any REAL intention to FIX the problem, and The IP’s chronicling of the nearly two-year debacle proves it.  Well, yesterday, the chicken, or pigeon, or whatever fowl it was, came home to roost.   But before I explain yesterday’s events, let’s review:

CONEWATCH began when the city of Atlanta needed to locate a valve that controlled the flow of water to a hydrant in front of The IP’s building.  The IP can’t say why they couldn’t find the cover to the valve without tearing up a good five linear feet of brick pavers, but that’s what they did…hurrah!

When all the bricks (many of which they broke into chunks) and the fill in which they rested was all over the place near the repair, The IP’s cynicism began:  “I wonder if they will put this back together like it was; or maybe they will just slap it back together Mickey-Mouse-Style and say ‘WTF?  We’re done.’”  After all, that is the “Atlanta Way” as far as The IP is concerned (unless the White yuppies in more affluent areas bitch and moan).  Which reminds The IP of something his dead historian colleague once said as he disarmingly made a comment about his imminent demise due to a brain tumor:  “If I ever come back in another life, I want to be the guy that owns that company that puts those big steel plates over street repairs in Atlanta.”

Those of you who read and kept up with CONEWATCH probably remember the chameleon-like nature of the site:  So, right after the little valve location project, instead of replacing the bricks as they were along with the media that surrounded and supported them (and they broke bricks in the process), they just kinda wedged what bricks they had left into the gash they created, and then even had the gall to leave their little pile of media on the sidewalk.  When The IP saw the crew walking off with the distinct gait of “We’re done” it was a true “WTF?” moment.  You know?  Just fuck up the sidewalk, leave a mess, and just take off.  Way to go. 

So a day or so later, two bright orange cones showed up astride the pile.  The IP remembers thinking to himself: “I bet that pile and those cones are just gonna sit there.  Nothing will be done, and only the inexorable march of time will determine what happens…the rain will probably wash away the pile eventually.”  This was the begining of CONEWATCH.

The IP was right about the inexorable nature of time, but he was wrong about those original cones staying there.  Soon CONEWATCH really meant watching what would happen.  Like when a single, clearly flaccid cone, replaced the original rigid cones.  WTF?

As predicted, rain and time started washing away the pile to make it a strange fluvial micro-morphologic feature.   And another cone showed up, too. 

Then one day no cones were there.  The IP was beside himself; would there now be no CONEWATCH!

 Then things started getting weird when this sidewall of a tire (usually used as a base for a plastic construction barrel) just kinda showed up at the site.

Then, in a strange shift of concern, the folks at GSA, the Nation’s largest property owner and clearly its lamest landlord, decided that the location of the original project was the REAL hazard.   Now really look at the above.  Couldn’t one say that, maybe, it might be better to just fix the problem, you know, just fix the sidewalk.  But it’s a lot easier to just put up three metal barricades.  The cone in the picture can’t really be taken seriously at this point.   

And so it went, with a cone returned to the site of the pile, now just a small patch of sand, and only one barricade remaining over the ill-fitting pavers.   Eventually, the  barricade and the cone were gone.  The site was naked and without a warning of the danger of the shoddy repair; it was always the shoddy repair of the brickwork that was the REAL hazard.

The a few weeks ago, the prodigal cone came back to warn pedestrians of the hazzard.  While not perfect, at least the cone stood sentinel over a “work in progress.”  Yeah.  Two years in progress.

But alas, that last cone was soon appropriated for some more important duty.  The shoddy repair then became exposed, just waiting with mindless and latent danger…

And then it happened…

THE ABOVE IS A DRAMATIZATION

During a recent fire drill/evacuation of The Atlanta Federal Center, one of The IP’s co-workers caught her foot on the shoddy repair and took a hard fall.  Boy, was The IP pissed.  He quickly shot of an e-mail to GSA along with a picture of their barricades over the shoddy repair:

I had assumed that when the above barricades were placed over the shoddy brick replacement pictured above, it was because plans were being made to reinstall the pavers appropriately.  Evidently this needed repair work was
never performed.

During this morning’s evacuation, one of our employees tripped and fell fairly hard when her foot caught one of the protruding bricks.

I am sending this e-mail not only on her behalf, but on behalf of all the folks who enter and exit the building.  If barricades were put up to protect employees from such an incident, it doesn’t make sense that they were removed without the hazard being repaired. 

This situation has existed for nearly two years now.

Regardless of the sidewalk’s ownership (City of Atlanta?  GSA?), please do whatever it takes to expedite the needed repair.

Thank you for your consideration.

It took two years, but someone finally hurt themselves because nobody gave a shit.  And it turned out to be someone The IP works with.  This woman was not “seriously” injured, but she could have been. 

The IP’s e-mail already caused some action…that will be in the next post.
 

In The Pantheon of exotica artists, Yma Sumac is the Athena.  If not for her collaboration with Les Baxter for the album Voice Of The XtaBay, the exotica movement in American popular music may never have occurred.  And it’s curious to note that, rather than the culture of the South Pacific that is so linked to exotica, it was that of South America, specifically Peru, that was the imaginative trope that launched this still-celebrated American musical genre.

Before it was re-issued on CD in 1996, the 1950 recording of Voice Of The XtaBay was a thrift store “needle in a haystack.”  And the fact that the album’s cover art had been splashed over so many publications and Intarweb sites only made its existence all the more, well, “exotic.”  It was hard to get that image of Yma out of your head.

To add to the fascination (obsession?), one would hear samples and clips of Sumac’s distinctive 4-octave voice in various venues of popular culture.  She was out there, but you had to find her.

Yet even the release of the CD did not temper this pithecanthrope’s desire to find a vinyl copy of Voice of The XtaBay, and when he finally found an original 10” copy, he was ecstatic.

Unfortunately, the little record, once on the turntable, sounded like it had been used as a hot plate for saucepans in a suburban kitchen.  It was unlistenable.  So The IP continued to wait and search rather than buy the CD.  It’s like a code of record collectors.

And today it happened.  And the weird thing was that some 20-something hipster dude was already rifling through the records when The IP saw it.  It was right in front of him.  He actually flipped past it.  WTF?  The IP just stood next to the hipster dude and simply grabbed the 1956 Capitol reissue of Voice of The XtaBay.  It was too easy.  What’s with today’s “youth?”  The IP felt like saying “How could you not grab this Yma Sumac record?  Are you a fuckin’ re-tahd?”  No matter.  Most 20-somethings today are totally a-historical.  Seriously.  It gives us 40-somethings a distinct advantage. 

And this time, when The IP got home and put the platter on the TT, it had not a scratch.  Clean, smooth, and mind-blowingly perfect.  Good things come to those who wait.
The IP will defer to the below scholar who clearly understands the importance and complexity of the life and work of Yma Sumac.  If you don’t know about her, The IP really thinks you will enjoy the discovery:
 

Enter the site and then find the Yma Sumac tab at the top.

Excerpts from a book about divas

Here are some more Yma Sumac sites:

http://www.sunvirgin.com/

http://www.yma-sumac.com/ 

Here’s an experiment:

Take a live mouse, a live butterfly, a live frog, and for the heck of it, a live earthworm and put them in a freezer.  Sure, that would be cruel, but this is only a fictional scenario.

OK.  After about two weeks, open the freezer.  The IP would guess that, despite the advocates of cryogenics, those suckers would be dead.  But just to give it a chance, go ahead and put those critters in the oven.  Thaw them out on low and see if they move?  No movement?  Well, might as well cook them at high temperature; at least you can eat the frog’s legs.

OK.  It’s been about 15 minutes at 400-degrees, and the frog is kinda bublin’ and looks ready to eat.  You might not know what its legs will taste like, but one thing you pretty much know is that it is certainly dead.  Totally dead.  You froze it, then you cooked it.  How could it not be dead?  Wouldn’t you be surprised if it started jumping around?  You would probably shout out “WTF!!” if it did.  Or what if that butterfly, singed wings and all, just fluttered out of the oven, or if that worm started writhing around on the aluminum foil?  You would freak out, wouldn’t you?

That’s why The IP again lived up to his name when he read about that recent frozen pizza recall.
  

WTF?  Escherichia coli?  Otherwise known as E-coli?  Holy crap!  That must be some durable shit.  Actually, it loves shit.  It’s “gut flora” and lives in all of us.  But put it on a soon-to-be-frozen-and-cooked pepperoni pizza and, well, watch out!  And that surprises The IP because E-coli is not as tough as some other bacteria.  Processed spinach?  Sure.  Meat?  Why not?  But frozen pizza?  Frozen pizza that is later cooked?  Granted, maybe some of those Kentuckians eat it frozen, you know, like a Kaintuck pizza-sicle, but even still, one has gotta be impressed by a bacteria that can live through freezing AND cooking.  If E-coli had a football team they could probably beat the Patriots.

The IP ate a lifetime’s share of frozen pizza back in the 70s.  That’s when he worked at the Wellesley Supermarket and didn’t have much cash to spend.  These days, the whole concept of frozen food strikes The IP as kinda lame.  All that electricity just to keep what is already questionable “food” frozen.  Crazy.  The IP’s not happy a bunch of people got sick, but next time they might think about getting a real pie (and not from Pizza Hut).

If you actually ate one of those pizzas, the lawyers are waiting to help.  They really care.

The IP and his sister and bro-in-law over in Bama are drying up.  Send us some water, please.